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Plain language

The work, shown rather than described.

Five documents of the kind that generate calls to Member Services, each rewritten. The grade levels beside them are calculated from the text on the page using the published Flesch–Kincaid formula — not asserted.

Send us one of yours

Average grade level, before

19.0

Average grade level, after

6.3

The target most plans are given

6–8

Sixth to eighth grade is the common benchmark for member-facing material.

Member handbook · utilization management

Prior authorization

Grade 15.06.7

Before

Certain services require prior authorization prior to the rendering of said services. In the event that prior authorization is not obtained in advance of service delivery, the claim may be subject to denial and the member may be held financially responsible for the entirety of the charges incurred. It is the responsibility of the member to verify with the provider whether prior authorization requirements are applicable.

Grade level
15.0
College
Words
66
Words / sentence
22.0
Long words
23%

After

Some care needs our approval before you get it, and we call that prior approval. If the approval is skipped, we may not pay the bill and you could owe the full cost of the visit. Before you schedule anything, ask your doctor's office whether your care needs prior approval. If nobody there is sure, call the number on your card and we will check it for you.

Grade level
6.7
Middle school
Words
68
Words / sentence
17.0
Long words
10%

What changed and why

  • Named the thing in words a member would use: prior approval, not prior authorization
  • Cut the passive voice — someone has to do something, so say who
  • Replaced the legal hedge with the actual consequence: you could owe the full cost
  • Ended with the next action, because a warning without an instruction is not help

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed from the text above. The formula counts sentence length and syllables, so short sentences score low — a 3.0 is not three times better than a 9.0. This rewrite lands inside the sixth-to-eighth-grade band most member material is held to.

Explanation of benefits · the single most-called-about document

This is not a bill

Grade 19.75.2

Before

This document constitutes an explanation of benefits and does not represent a request for payment. The amounts reflected herein represent the provider's submitted charges, the contractual adjustment applied pursuant to the network agreement, the portion adjudicated as the plan's liability, and the residual amount which may be the responsibility of the member subject to applicable deductible and coinsurance provisions.

Grade level
19.7
Post-graduate
Words
59
Words / sentence
29.5
Long words
34%

After

This is not a bill. It is a summary of a claim we already processed for you. It shows four things: what your doctor charged, the discount your plan got, the part we paid, and the part you may still owe. Your doctor's office will send you a separate bill for that last amount. If the two documents do not match, call the number on the back of your card before you pay anything.

Grade level
5.2
Grade 6 or below
Words
74
Words / sentence
14.8
Long words
8%

What changed and why

  • Moved the one sentence members need to the front: this is not a bill
  • Turned four abstract nouns into four things the reader can point at
  • Added the missing step — the real bill comes later, from someone else
  • Told them what to do when the numbers disagree, which is when they call

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed from the text above. The formula counts sentence length and syllables, so short sentences score low — a 3.0 is not three times better than a 9.0. The target for member-facing material is usually sixth to eighth grade; the judgment about whether a rewrite is still accurate and complete is editorial, not arithmetic.

Open enrollment guide · plan comparison

How a deductible works

Grade 26.85.9

Before

The annual deductible represents the aggregate amount of covered expenses which must be incurred and satisfied by the member during the applicable benefit period before the plan's cost-sharing obligations commence, exclusive of those preventive services designated as payable at one hundred percent without application of the deductible.

Grade level
26.8
Post-graduate
Words
47
Words / sentence
47.0
Long words
32%

After

Your deductible is the amount you pay for care each year before your plan starts paying its share. Checkups and screenings are the exception. Those are covered in full from day one, even if you have not met your deductible yet.

Grade level
5.9
Grade 6 or below
Words
41
Words / sentence
13.7
Long words
10%

What changed and why

  • Explained the mechanism in the order it happens to the member
  • Pulled the exception out of the middle of the sentence and gave it its own line
  • Dropped 'aggregate', 'benefit period', and 'cost-sharing obligations' with no loss of accuracy

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed from the text above. The formula counts sentence length and syllables, so short sentences score low — a 3.0 is not three times better than a 9.0. The target for member-facing material is usually sixth to eighth grade; the judgment about whether a rewrite is still accurate and complete is editorial, not arithmetic.

Denial letter · required disclosure

Your right to appeal

Grade 17.56.7

Before

In the event that you disagree with this determination, you are entitled to request an internal appeal, which request must be submitted in writing within one hundred eighty (180) days of your receipt of this notification. Following exhaustion of the internal appeals process, you may be eligible to request an external review conducted by an independent review organization.

Grade level
17.5
Post-graduate
Words
58
Words / sentence
29.0
Long words
24%

After

You can ask us to look at this decision again, and that request is called an appeal. Write to us within 180 days of the date you received this letter. If our second answer is still no, you can then ask for a review by an independent outside group that does not work for us. We will explain exactly how to do that in the letter with our second answer.

Grade level
6.7
Middle school
Words
70
Words / sentence
17.5
Long words
6%

What changed and why

  • Kept the legally required 180-day window and the two-step structure intact
  • Replaced 'exhaustion of the internal appeals process' with what actually happens
  • Explained why an external review matters: the reviewer does not work for us

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed from the text above. The formula counts sentence length and syllables, so short sentences score low — a 3.0 is not three times better than a 9.0. This rewrite lands inside the sixth-to-eighth-grade band most member material is held to.

Provider practice · pre-procedure instructions

Before your procedure

Grade 16.07.0

Before

Patients are advised to maintain NPO status for a minimum of eight hours prior to the scheduled procedure time. Anticoagulant therapy should be discontinued in accordance with the instructions provided by the prescribing physician. Please arrange for a responsible adult to provide transportation post-procedure, as operation of a motor vehicle is contraindicated following the administration of sedation.

Grade level
16.0
College
Words
57
Words / sentence
19.0
Long words
37%

After

Do not eat or drink anything for eight hours before your appointment time. If you take a blood thinner, ask the doctor who prescribed it when you should stop taking it. During the procedure you will get medicine that makes you sleepy, which means you are not allowed to drive yourself home afterward. Bring an adult who can drive you and who can stay until we discharge you.

Grade level
7.0
Middle school
Words
68
Words / sentence
17.0
Long words
10%

What changed and why

  • Wrote instructions as instructions — second person, one action per sentence
  • Translated NPO and anticoagulant therapy without losing the clinical requirement
  • Explained the reason for the driver, so the rule is followed rather than argued with

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed from the text above. The formula counts sentence length and syllables, so short sentences score low — a 3.0 is not three times better than a 9.0. This rewrite lands inside the sixth-to-eighth-grade band most member material is held to.

About these examples

These are original examples written to illustrate the method. They are composites of the kinds of documents we work on — not excerpts from any client’s materials. Client work is confidential and stays that way.

Grade level is Flesch–Kincaid, computed at page render from the text shown. Reading-ease and grade formulas are blunt instruments: they count syllables and sentence length, and they cannot tell you whether a sentence is true, compliant, or actually answers the reader’s question. We use them as a floor, not a finish line.

The method

Six moves, applied in order.

  1. 01

    Lead with what the reader has to do

    The action goes in the first sentence. Context, authority, and citations go after it, or in a sidebar.

  2. 02

    Name the reader and name yourself

    You and we, not the member and the plan. Second person is not informality — it is the difference between a sentence you can act on and one you cannot.

  3. 03

    Break the load-bearing sentence

    A forty-word sentence with three conditions becomes three sentences or a list. Nothing is lost. The conditions become findable.

  4. 04

    Translate the term, then keep it

    Regulated and defined terms often cannot be removed. They can be defined in place, on first use, in six words.

  5. 05

    Turn conditions into a list

    If eligibility depends on four things, a reader should be able to check four things — not parse a paragraph for them.

  6. 06

    End with the next step and a deadline

    Most confusion is not about the decision. It is about what happens now, by when, and who to call.

Layered sheets of cream and white paper on a warm surface, edges overlapping in soft daylight.

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